-fom-

i realised more deeply

heavy adverse reaction to people having better lives than mine saying stupid idiotic things is not necessary. They have the right to live, to laugh, to say anything cliche-happy for all they want cos they're in their happy moments. Cos i was there too: i have mine, foolish or stupid or just pure harmeless fun.

be that way, i will smile a sad smile, as my heart aches with a lost that cries out silently in pain, asking a million "whys"

but then, i'm reminded of the abovementioned again, and i'm a little calm

and the thing that i'm shocked about is: i have writer's block for Tezuka/Fuji fanfic..i can't believe it..i have a writer's block for my favourite fic series?! sonnaaaaaaa!!!

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taking a risk

i'm sick but not working, why should i see a doctor? i'm saving every cent that i can for the family. i'm now taking the biggest risk: my life

i'm coughing, still not seeing a doctor knowing that i've pneumonia before.

i've degarded my running nose medicine to Panadol flu non-drowsy, realised that i can take it 4 hourly.

i'm still refusing antobidicts, for the first time in 31 years..i hope i'm not too late for my body to produce its own. It will weaken my body more, but as i said, i'm at home, jobless, why not take the risk?

So here's my dosage which i'm gonna start:
Panadol flu non-drowsy 1 tablet every 4 hours
Chinese cough mixture 1 tablespoon every 2 hours
1 mug water every 30 mins to 1 hour
rest when body starts screaming for it

since i'm that forgetful i've set my handphone alarm..grr, it doesn't have the automatic hourly alarm feature, so i had to manually key in 4 hourly for Panadol flu and 2 hourly for cough..if this works, i'm gonna continue this

and yes...someday i wish to be a programmer or at least a website designer. Kai's already a programmer in his own ways and can speak, write and understand Japanese (tosai-ben?! XD), so is Lay Peng with her Japanese and basic 'coding' - could say they are my motivation - not to surpass them, my brain's too simple, please - but just a little of where they are (Kai draws zeros while i'm still wondering what's pencil and paper XD).

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undaunted

absolutely

i've learnt to be thick-skinned too. That day when my '6am work' was not used i told myself i am going to upload it in a video format - i am the webmaster after all ;p

Surprisingly i did it today - of all the days when i'm so sick that i can tear from my running nose and cough my lungs out, refusing to see doctor for antibodicts as advised by Kak

And i didn't borther much of the details as it's already previously done. All i did was to do up a few new ones and..i forgot how long it took

not linking either, dun wan to get flamed or pple to end up being intimidated knowing the other side of me. This side's fine enuff cos i'm still pissed

maa ii, as long as it's uploaded - yaay! XD

Earworm: Daybreak's Bell (L'Arc~en~Ciel), Love Today (Taja)

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Tezuka x Fuji fanfic (warning some BL parts)

if i load in fanfiction. net i think i may be flamed cos i think it's almost out of character XD but i dun care as i'm not loading there

please click here to read

after watching Junjou Romantica, i was wondering how it's like to be a guy, just for once frolicking around like a Misaki, having a guy to take care of me...

that's how influenced i am of anime, bringing me to another world

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with sore throat cough and running nose

Christmas is almost over...sadly, my Gundam wish-list have yet to come true. Somehow getting a feel of how it's like to sit in a Mobile Suit and make it walk fascinates me. And there's only one in my circle who knows this feeling and beyond and we can really talk about it

i'm just affected by the drowsy medicine. it has become a day of oblivious to the max. i'm a living being so quiet and lifeless that almost nothing fascinates me - i can only busy my brains with watching TV n not being able to do my self-paced study

the word "eat" has become an obligation, not a joy, since i must eat to take medication - and that's depressing

somehow while typing this Kai's entry still is in my head. i wish i could write like him - he has this unique style that only he can de-crypt what he's writing - i like that but can never do that, the only encryption method XD i can do is poetry

still looking forward to SOY

there's nothing fulfilling in my life except anime and related-anime. Reality's too cruel for me that i run to my hiding places for often than ever - and i'm glad some of my friends have provided me the shelter (LP: in this season thanks for 'tolerating' my Gundam-Tieria-Sestuna-Loveless ravings..more exact seasons to come XD when u become manager, remember jobless-me nya?)

Atobe-sama...let's get it started shall we :3 ? can't wait to see it uploaded..heehee..

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the next day

officially sick

anyway yesterday i braved my condition to go for the meeting - wouldn't want to miss it. Miss meeting Lay Peng, Kai and Wee Siong and a little excited in meeting new friends from the school. Realised most of them are my senpai, regardless of age, of course! but in case u really wanna know - i'm the oldest but noisy XD

got to knw more what happened to our school. it's really unfortunate but we've decided to move on: getting to know each other, coming down to a meeting n we did! To me, as long as the day had served its purpose all's well to me

thanks to these friends of mine, they've taught me to take things in a less stressful manner

but the thing now is to fight the habit of snapping when i'm irritated

Derf's latest entry rockZ!!! watzat?!! a story?!!! love it!!!

i wish i have a laptop to work with...sigh..

anyway, looking for a job seems futile...until the day i find one ba

oh ya...Lay Peng's looking for a wig to complete her cosplay. Wonder if Kai n Wee Siong are gonna cosplay for SOY too? i'm not gonna cosplay but i'm going to dress up a bit, haha..not much but thank goodness i'm gonna cos i'm going with my friends who have a high chance they might.

sigh..saw Gundam 00 illustration book..Setsuna looks Ritsuka - of course, cos both characters are from the same illustrator Yun Kouga..I WAAAAAAN..why the **** i dun have a job yet!

seriously..i'm starting to blog like a kid.."today i - , yesterday i -"

but that's what i've been doing ever since the first day i blog ;p

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aah..

Happy New Year

had a hard time getting onto the internet just now. Heard there was some problem...i tot it was my pc's again

so many things have happened that i've come to take things 1 day at a time - i wouldn't do that if i'm asked to do so in the beginning of 2008

i'm excited about tmw cos i'm going to see Kai, Wee Siong and Lay Peng - hope to share more fun than ever before:)

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