last year..

hard to believe that yesterday was 31 Dec..

so everyone's doing their retrospecs, reflecting what they've done, what they should've done, events, etc.

i'm no exception!

in a nutshell, last year has been a shocking year for me. The shocks came more intense as year's end was approaching: rude shocks, sad shocks, angry shocks..

i'm thinking this as i type this blog entry: how can one really 'start anew' when last year's problems, situations, deadlines continues on to the new year - like me?

it's going to be a difficult year for me..i duno..perhaps it's time to take more steps back to be open to more options and different perspectives in my life

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dead

gone haywire ever since i lost my job that i thought i was enjoying myself with = dignity lost

have been trying too hard to justify myself in keeping myself occupied, jealousy grows hearing my mum's "day at work" every single day. No sympathy, no empathy given because it has always been, "Listen to me," in the family, let alone the nuclear family

i feel that i have no tongue, no voice. i feel like i'm just seeing pictures of people moving their mouths. And if i make just a little effort to listen - i get hurt bcos i don't feel belonged

i hate it when there's nothing but just being safe aka, "Don't you dare tell me to change because - #%!# you - i'm not because i expect you to change."

i'm on medication now, thanks to their selfishness

i'm in tears now, thanks to their ignorance

honestly i just want to get out and perhaps drink myself a little over tipsy

but i wonder why i'm not moving

perhaps being oblivious at home could be the best coping mechanism at home for now

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sigh..

why is it everytime i thought i could stay in a job i can't? thought it's a job i enjoy but so much nonsense came in the way, i still push on..but in the end, still..

is this meant to be?

it has come to a point that i'm tired, i just want to hide at home and do what i want to do for a long, long time. And i dun give a * about what i cannot handle at home. i just have to push on about what i want to do

i totally give up..world, i've done what i'm told to do. this time, i'll just shut you out from me, do what i want to do..i simply do not care anymore

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T.M. Revolution THANK YOU VERY MUCH

ついにシンガポールでコンサートなさいました。本当にどうもありがとうございます！またシンガポールへいらっしゃってコンサートなさってください！WE HOPE!!!

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T.M. Revolution

IS HERE!!!!!

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Apple ah..

mini iPad disappointing..is Apple losing its touch?

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i'm afraid to go back to work. Everything is too fast for me, a slow developer. i can die

bought a sim adapter. Tried on another phone. Succeeded, but in the end, it's no fun at all. i guess it's "let the original be the original, then"

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