insomnia

as usual

two good news is not enough to crash my depression

i hate the library, it's very noisy now. i've nowhere to study in peace

people say even non bgr relationships have phases: first few months the honeymoon phase = everything's "sweet" and "nice". But once got to know better, that's when u "see" one another = outbursts, misunderstandings, taking one another for granted, "i thought", "you thought", "i should've done this n that..."

thus my insomnia

cos the truth is out, just as i feared

suicide is the best if not for counselling hours later

cos my pillar has crashed

even after counselling i'd still feel heavy - not bcos the counselling won't work, but - kids, don't try this ever - the pain i refuse to let go to punish myself

i don't know what i am now, i feel i'm a fcukin entity to the world now