where am i going?
i don't know
All i know is that i've to start
somewhere
...

LP this is 4 u

>> Tuesday, May 25, 2010

ran first part of errands, came home, rest awhile, did a quicky (sketch lah! wat are we thinking..) while resting before going off for second part of errands X3 hope u like it

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silly

>> Monday, May 24, 2010

"noun phrase, noun phrase!"

the words "noun phrase" is so dang simple but in my high-stressed state i was unable to take in any simplicity of the words. It's only now - the next day - i can kick myself in stupidity realising the simplicity of the words - there are no hidden meanings, no hidden lines, it's just as simple and direct as the words are

just read a slightly emo T x F fic, thus my mood for this entry ;p

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what a day X3

>> Sunday, May 23, 2010

YES FINALLY!!! ANIME / BL THERAPY!!!!!! OOOOOH!!! i can talk to LP forever until i almost didn't want to go for class (先生すみませんでした XD) and finally i talked about my J-class...and i'm so glad someone understands perfectly what i'm saying (aka without me explaining anything about J culture)

life after mid-term is ------ AAAAAARGH!!!! it gets more and more difficult!!!!! with such limited knowledge how can i think up of non-noun phrases?!!!! 全然難しいヤァ~ (it's totally difficult yaaaaaaa)!!!!!

ah..but if we dun learn more we'll never move on to our goal...

油断せずに頑張るよ! ぜってまけへんで!!!
(don't let my guard down to move on! absolutely wun lose!!!)

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BL warning: kachou no koi

>> Saturday, May 22, 2010

direct translation: "the section chief's romance", or fansubbed as "The President's Romance" isn't your average BL (Boys Love) animation.

1. It's done in Flash, not the normal OVA-style BL fans watch
2. THE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD CAN HEAR ME LAUGHING

It follows the story of a fictional 33 year-old male - "kachou" - holding high-position in the office where he works in, unaware that he IS gay.

Thru LP's introduction to my first comedy-BL..i was hesistant although i read good reviews about it but as i watched it i laughed from the beginning to the end of the animation!!!

the character is voiced by the same voice actor of Prince of Tennis' Tezuka Kunimitsu!!! He really did it, the character being so innocent and all - it's almost like Tezuka-crack (for a Tezuka x Fuji shipper like me XD)

and just when i thought only the voice actor of Gintama's Gintoki could bring his Gintoki-ness in almost every character he voices, there's the Megane's-crack-Tezuka-ness in "kachou" - when he cried in the hotsprings to "clean" himself - in the audio-only version of the flash animation...SOMEONE, HELPU MI!!!!!! XD

ohoh did i forget to mention Gundam 00's Tieria's voice actor is in it too? AND SOUBIIIIIII!!!! Soubi's voice actor as the "mama" of Blue Dragon XD "mama's voice" rocks in the flash animation but the audio-only version is not so as "mama" sounds quite low - but without the "low-ness" of the voice i wouldn't have checked and realised it IS Soubi's voice actor!!!!

Although Chappi the "mascot squirrel" is irritating it packs wild bunches...goodness...i wonder who's its manufacturer..no, better not to know

and now i have a different perception as i listen to Tezuka Kunimitsu's "IMPRESSIVE" album after three days of Megane's-nostalgia-ing..it's only at the last song that i'm fully aware that it's the "real" Tezuka Kunimitsu i'm listening to...

crack to the maximum da!!!!! XD

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look away!!!

>> Tuesday, May 18, 2010

i saw a previous email title of the name "yamane ayano" - almost clicked it - but the studious part got the better of me and my hand auto-shifted away *phew*

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sigh..

>> Monday, May 17, 2010

tired...very tired..

after reading LP's blog i decided to try wordpress for fun. but it didn't give me much satisfaction, cos i was not myself when i was blogging - i was blogging for a specific group of people, i felt so restricted so i deleted the blog cos..

okay, i'll spill it, i can't keep it a secret anymore, the weather's too hot and i'm going nuts

i'm officially learning Japanese, not at the school LP would prefer - my family can't fork out $500 at one shot. no, i'm not even N5 yet - まだまだだ。WARNING: I WILL DELETE ANY JAPANESE COMMENT BEYOND N5 IF IT'S NOT TRANSLATED COS I'LL BE FUCKING PRESSURISED DUE TO MY LOW-J-LEVEL AND FUCKING STRESSED TO TRANSLATE TO READ - I'M ALREADY AT MY HANDS FULL AT STUDYING FROM MY SCHOOL'S SYLLABUS, I HAVE NO TIME TO TRANSLATE TO UNDERSTAND YOUR JAPANESE COMMENTS - with the exception of my teacher of course (sigh, have to add this sentence in na...XD)- thank you

i've been praying for a good teacher and i'm so happy my prayer is answered. i have a wonderful teacher who not only taught us Japanese lessons but about lessons about life too - さすが「我師よ」だ

finally i can OFFICIALLY use 「我師よ」!!! think Sensei will faint if he finds out exactly WHERE this phrase comes from, ne LP!!! (no, i'm NOT going to say here WHERE i get this phrase from)

so why learn Japanese?

1. Aiming to play AND understand Japanese games - PRINCE OF TENNIS DATING SIM WAIT FOR ME!!!!

2. To watch and read anime and manga respectively in their purest form - RAW

3. To be a Japanese-English translater for anime and manga - i've always wanted that

4. To really enjoy AFA to the fullest XD!!!! understanding the language helps me to appreciate deeper into the culture

no i can't speak well yet but my teacher's willing to let it go at that - for the time being. i tink we practically stressed him out yesterday cos i was sitting for my mid-term exam - we didn't know what we were doing or saying. but everyone was good when it came to exam time.

but i din do well, cos my mum n i were sick for two weeks, i've been running up and down for errands being my mum's "other hand", no strength time or mood to study

LP wanna see my notes? *giggle* ああ、ファン・フィク・ブロクのリンクいいです。どうもね X3

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no .reg needed: disable aero features Windows 7 Premium version

>> Friday, May 14, 2010

Windows 7 premium uses aero theme by default so disable the aero theme by selecting its basic theme in Personalize

right-hand mouse: right-click (left-hand mouse: left-click), click on Personalize (US English. UK English Personalise), look at the top "change visuals and sounds on your computer", click on the phrase "Windows7 basic", exit out. i'm not sure if u need to restart to let it take effect but i prefer to restart

AND IT WORKS

you can change the desktop background from any source - it doesn't switch to aero theme at all!!!

in its basic theme, if you're working on more than one window any MS Office application, you want to change windows within MS Office you'll see the windows are "stacked" with words and no "pictures" that's ok (again, that's because of its basic theme). i find the "stacks" less time consuming too - especially when you're rushing for time and every nanosecond counts!

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aah

>> Monday, May 10, 2010

so tired, really really tired..

i never ask to be left out, it's just that people leave me out. i'm between the 20 something-students and 30 something-highflyers - academic-/professional-/mentality-wise i'm not anywhere near them. it has come to a point that it's painful to hear their achievements and wat they're doing cos while they're talking i'm blaming and hating myself for being stuck in wait-and-see situations

i've "killed" myself tolerating with their excited ravings, goodness..i need anime/BL therapy soon - LP HELPU MI!!!!!! XD

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open door

>> Monday, May 3, 2010

i'm screaming
internally of course

being surrounded with people ten years younger than me, being surrounded by their progress, talking about just one topic which i cannot relate to at all, totally shut out from their sight. i feel miserable - infinitely

in my mind all i could do was screaming at myself for the lack of finances for education and good psychological upbringing which has resulted in me as a slow developer - intellect-and-social-skills. i am lacking 10 years of what i am supposed to be

hearing all their talk about taking the next educational phase in life, learning what they want - it all seems so smooth for them, it brings me down - 'cos mine isn't

being with those of my same age, they already are on their career paths, flying high with recognition and prestige

"So what do you wanna do?" i get this sentence every time.
i duno, cos wat i wanna do i can't
"Then don't dwell on it," many reply
i can't help but to dwell on them - cos what i wanna do - are my passions

i dun understand why, time and time again i've been besieged by series of terrible events that even cripple my desires which abruptly end my career-plan, one after another. i don't know why i can see things from a different point of view that in fact i am being protected from harming myself further which i 'kill' myself for being a fool to follow and live with nothing but empty hands

isn't there a place i can really be in a league of things which can bring in money?

all i feel now is nothing but screaming in the darkness

yes, i keep telling myself again and again, "it's not logical, i deserve to be happy, i make the choice to be happy"

now stripped of the dream that i had been chasing all along, i find that there are things deeper other than just chasing a dream - is that a calling?

"Well, (you'd better) compromise on both sides, don't take my dream away, i'm not compromising. i've been listening to you as much as i can. i'm not a kid anymore, i deserve to have a share of my own life."

but i've realised i've been holding on tightly, pushing the hand away that reaches out

well, at least for this month, it gives me a break to hopefully see and have the doors opening to me

somehow i get the feeling i will be outstationed

sigh..there goes my dream...

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lastly..

thank you for reading my blog..

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