ultimate Christmas present of this yr
>> Saturday, December 25, 2010
working IS GOOD
working IS GOOD
work sucks as usual
Problem with a document. In-charge out of contact for days. There was no proper hand-down, no regard for me, a temp - i AM human..even stray animals get looked after!
Had to take people's work until the day no one could give me any work
that day was 30 mins to end of day i did nothing, so many had left early, i might as well leave for the day. Wasn't told exactly what to do, communication breakdown - i heard "go back". In the end was told i heard wrong
"If I want you go home why would I take the trouble to ask everyone?" was the retort
"But you've already asked everyone and they said they (and you) have no work for me." Retart, aren't you.
one month of waking up too early and sleeping late has taken its toll on me, mostly everyone in the office is sick too, Wagashi suddenly looked sick with lack of sleep n rest, my mum got running nose, suddenly my colleague's kind-heartedness of turning her huge box fan in my direction - got me sick
snuggled and slept happily for 12 hours, will sleep more - took fever medicine
had my time online, it's fun. But contrary to rest, i'm trying to learn as much as i can today for tomorrow. For electronic spreadsheets to be industrially-ready must have IF and LOOKUP. Unfortunately LOOKUP wasn't taught in my diploma. IF - totally forgot but nested IF isn't taugh in my diploma too. i feel so at a loss
following the book i can't go anywhere until i know how to use IF and LOOKUP so i've no choice but to use my temp job as a training ground although i'm earning little - just gotta get through this first
i'm still craving for butter - NOT migarine - though. Craving for a nice Western breakfast in a hotel, low-grade also nem mind, it's the ambience i'm looking for - silence before noise.
However with this little money i get and painfully discipline myself to stay calm and composed despite the frustrating screamings in my head and heart about no spending power - this depression has also got me into falling sick but somehow i tell myself "control, control" will get me a new handphone with data plan - all i have to do is wait and save!
cos really i'd realised i'm too tired to go online when i come back from work and i cannot wake up earlier in the morning to have an online social life. Weekends are "out of home" time. So having a handphone with data plan helps
now comes to the hard part: do i want to continue with Japanese? it's tough having to say 'goodbye' to Wagashi to be taught under another teacher. i'm afraid of the new teacher: Wagashi makes things neutral so he wun say much about the new teacher either. Too much goodbyes this year: Paps officially in major sem, Shimp'-sama, my classmate, next year Wagashi..too many goodbyes in such a short time so painful
sigh..i guess looking forward to SOY may ease the pain a little. Looking forward to seeing the Trinity Blood cosplay group if they are there - really so cool they are! Do i wan to cosplay? If i have the cash..and the physique lor..!
it's been a long time since i've blogged
thanks to my classmate i got a temp job. i'm glad he's happy with his new job. My experience in the workplace is a different story from his
after so many years not working i've forgotten about self-confidence which i have little to begin with. i'm overwhelmed being in a big office with so many people and my dressing - of course, differs from everyone. Black is my favourite colour. My makeup's pretty Goth as i go for pale look and dead-coloured lipstick but it contridicts my outgoing disposition when chatting with colleagues - i'll talk about the chat part later in this entry
as for the work itself is another story. there is someone who i have a problem working with n dat's the person i have to work with everyday. i know of people who are good at what they do but they cannot teach for nuts, confusing others when they teach. i am the victim - n it's been a long time since i was shown an exasperated expression at work
hey it ain't my fault, my teachers didn't teach me n i din know wtf u need cos u're not talking to the point n leave the people who ask u confused, be it those of lower or higher hierachy than u - i wonder why u're hired in the first place
everytime i groan inwardly, curb my tongue and frustration whenever i have to learn from the person. The person absolutely cannot teach n it's always, inwardly i always end up with the "WTF" phrase in full in my heart. i hope i dun blurt that phrase out one day - absolute frustration. i have no confidence when it comes to work.
it's difficult to have two-sided conversations with 98% of them as they prefer the sound of their own voices. from next week onwards i'll just smile and make neutral reactions cos they just want someone to throw their frustrations to or listen to their chatter. i find it very hard as an individual to blend into the environment as they are all older than me, married, kids, not into young people's trends, just in the world of their "old" world
anyway, i'm just glad that i dun have to stay long there as i heard that a certain percentage of work will cease operation. i'm really looking forward to that day when they say i'm not needed anymore
and although i'm somewhere along where people would hang out to shop etc i'd realised i dun have the means to afford such $10+ lunches. there isn't much for leisure walkarounds too n i'm already bored with that area - i've such a short attention span - i've set my expectations too high, why not? i'm working in a reputated company in a reputated area of shopping haven - and NO i'm NOT telling where i work..even a person of low intelligence would know when to keep one's mouth shut
wat's even more mind-boggling is how to juggle between work and studies! i've to learn new things about work at home but i've still my Jclass to attend n to pursue for. Thank goodness the Korean drama i'm chasing is ending soon if not i'll have a big problem with my end-of-level exam which is as tough as JLPT
speaking of the latter...i shouldn't have taken it in the first place. N5 is far longer than the time i finished my level and N4 which i'm taking the big risk to sit for it as it is one level above my current curriculum. i haven't had the time to prepare as every night i've to sleep early at about 9pm plus to gain proper mental n physical health for the next working day, not to mention i've to help my mum in her homework - i've no time for myself!
needless to say i'm lost and much worst, cynicism has returned and my old mask that i've thrown away is back - i hate this, really
although i've taken the day off to study, i'd realised i need the break to SLEEP but i can't, it's almost half a day n i haven't done anything for Sunday's N4..
although i'm ELATED that KINO HAS VASSALORD 4!!!! and i'm still excited having to see a real Abel Nightroad
i've to sit for N4 - before anything more
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