away n home n..

Paps is back..n waaaat laaaah.."fans of Fr Val" XD!!!!! VFC ah!!!!! XD!!!! but thanks for telling cos i didn't say bye to him face-to-face

WELCOME HOME PAPS!!! MY & SG MISS U!!!!

seriously i wanna meet Paps (c-h-o-c-o-l-a-t-e-s *giggle*)..but..guess he's too busy for now, arranging about his luggage, reflecting on his new appointment - which i guess he will blog about it soon

Shimp'-sama happily back home (MY) for 3 weeks..i was wondering if he n me meet Paps after he comes back..but, really, must wait what Paps say about his new appointment

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caffeine kicks in

Happy belated birthday Mislah, wherever u are..hope u're doing fine

KAK CALLED!!!!! YAAAAAY!!!! still waiting for anyone more who's interested in Da Vinci...everyone meets everyone n go together - let's bridge the gap..

NEO ANGELIQUE'S LAST EP OF SEASON 1!!!!! THE SO-CALLED LAST I'D EVER SEE OF NIKU-SAAAAAAAN (Nyx)!!!!! After that Season 2 focuses on the rest of the characters until about ep 8 or something that Nyx explains to Angelique who he really is

surfed by thinkerd...n i saw a cute - really - n interesting title for a blog in Japanese..i clicked on it..n.. O-O !!!!! i went "eee?! (a familiar name popped up in the latest entry..)" the more i read the more i'm ever convinced it's - the whole block could hear me scream in excitement -

AKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!! the 2nd part of the first entry - TUD - if Dai Gor's here i'd run to him n scream about my loneliness XD

further reading of his location - YES, IT'S AKI!!!!! Aki's really cool (n yes i admire programmers - so glad most i know are! HEEHEE). i left Aki a message in the chatbox..wanted to ask if i could link too but - (Derf) Shaya lah (aaargh! PINCHI! CHANSU! PINCHI!) - shy lah..HONMA YA (serious lah)!!!!

but NEVER EVER add "-chan" after "Aki" in front of me..i've got a Sensitive Pornograph mind..dun wan to "scare" Aki

i can't do programming for nuts though when i whacked tables in using raw HTML when i was doing my own geocities was FUN - confusing but FUN. Given a choice, i'd like to learn proper website design n do up for grandparents n parents of my time X3 or help them to learn about basic computers!

ever since Marah n mo hitori no boku started telling me over n over again about me losing weight (Marah hit the nail on the head - I LOVE UUUUUUU XD) - it's good, if it doesn't drain u (esp momo..SENPAI!!!! XD since when did this become PoT?!!!!) please continue to do so to remind me, especially "cp bonus"

actually i can cp a musical Tezuka with my hair colour...TUD XD (i can hear "JUST DO IT")

but in the end, i go jimmy, well almost *giggle* n i guess two new friends i previously met may be there, hope to see them

thinking of the one time i went to a waist size of 29 n i bought a skirt from This Fashion - one of the proudest moment in my life. To buy from This Fashion = i've shrunk! really looking forward to this momentous occasion

i hereby declare..i can't stop staring at guys wif long blonde hair with blue eyes XD huaaaaah!!! (yes i can hear "Cosfest PLENTY...of 'guys' wif ur description") i was joking with futari-tomo "I COSPLAY AS MY BRO!!!" arrowing at Dai Gor's pic..where's my hair ?!! TUD XD kyaaa i wan long haaaaaaair!!!! then get burnt again XD!!!! fuuuuaaaaa!!!

thinking about two of whom i've reflected upon..n i ask myself if i've come to accept myself as who i'm born to be..much of my pain is gone but i'm aware i'm back into my comfort zone. But i look at my wardrobe n i could weep in pain due to the feeling that comes with the memories, because most of the clothes i have..they in the past now. And i am quite determined to - regardless of slim or not - change my wardrobe (mo hitori no boku ROX!!!!). i'd spoken to my mom about my change of wardrobe - i think it has made a huge impact on her too

n i wanna thank "Are you coming to sing next Friday or not?!" Terrence (yes it's me) for noticing the change in me; that i'd realised what i'd endured for years = "that shows your character"; that no matter what, i still can kill my throat even the rules have changed; for making me come on Friday = for still letting me be a part of something big on Tuesday which i thought it's gone forever

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Hurtful memories
are all in the past
Painful feelings linger
getting lesser
A step at a time
Besser
und weiter

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emo bad to good (thanks to someone again X3)

it will take a while for it to wear off

i'm still wondering if i wanna cosplay..definitely Ryoma, but the tennis racket is expensive i think..then i've to buy the polo shirt n shorts, buy the cap, colour my hair black..

..sigh..in the end, expensive..but i guess i can go in my own fashion..i need a pair of black slippers that's all X3...aaah..how nice if can go the beach...

SEN NO KAZE TACHI~~~umi..umi e...ii desu ka...aa...almost forgot about Alice-san's skirt..but-but-but..nice what beach pose...ne ne ne?!!! [urs truly most probably qian(4) da(3)]

my head's full of things, trying to let go of a lot of things which avalanche onto me every single day. Being aware of my thoughts n logically combat-ing with them..it's getting more n more tiring. And i'm still trying to find strength from within - from myself, instead on leaning onto others all the time, but again i find myself leaning onto others..i don't want to be seen as weak

but i guess it's through them that i learn my own strength - n that "growing up" isn't just left for me on my own to figure..it's because of everyone who reaches out a hand to me, you, despite urself, to reach out ur hand, understands me - n strengthen me with ur words

AH! i've bought new highlighters that claims to "rub off" if highlighted wrongly..haven't used it yet..will include in my blog about it when i've tried it X3

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alright...

woohoo!!! finally can edit widget background colours!!!!

so...there i was, awake but lazing in bed, realising - "what the ?$#@ am i doing wasting my time here?" thinking that with this free time i can work too. Studies...well i guess i can juggle ba..i've at least two more weeks to get aquainted with my new textbook

it's the things i wanna buy and have - especially cosplay - n i'd realised my expenditure has increased

wanted to do long walks but can't tdy - sudden pull on the left calf

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another round of hits

PAAAAAAAAIN

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10 years

amazing...

again - THANK U!!!!!!!!!!

beyond words

beyond time

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Silence

Continues

A little longer more

The winds still blow
The trees are swaying
The leaves still rustle
Whispering

My heart will wander
Hoping to find its way into yours

To transcend
To continue
To move

Living waters
lead me there
to a standstill
where the hurt lessens
a little more

And although the sun may still set
I ask that our paths be met
Once again
I ask
for the pain
I ask..
to be over

Cos i want to smile again
And treat it like a load once carried no longer
Not just for me
But also for another

To smile again
One
with
the other

Heart's heavy
I can't go on anymore
Finally wounds reopen
I am
in prepared
for

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